The Thin Line Between Love and Hate
by Zencreation
Summary: First Chapter is a poem dealing with Seifer's complex feelings about Squall, the second is Squall's POV
1. Default Chapter

  The Thin Line Between Love and Hate 

                   Part One     

The foolish games that I play,

Now seem to have caught up with me.

I never thought that I would end up 

Playing the fool for all to see.

So proud and yet so unsure,

Never knowing just how I feel.

Always saying the wrong things,

And never knowing how to deal.

And yet here I sit watching you.

Unable to explain the feeling inside.

What is it about you,

That makes me want to run and hide?

Is it the way that you move?

The way that you speak?

The way that you touch me inside,

That makes me want to freak?

I cover my feelings with those of hatred,

But really all I want is for you to smile.

A smile that is for no one but me.

I try but I am always met with denial.

So instead I try and hurt you, 

To make you feel something for me if only pain.

And that makes it better for a while,

But then I realize that what I'm doing is insane. 

I can't seem to stop though,

No matter how hard I try.

I just keep on hurting you,

And making you cry.

The fact that you cry is one that I know.

Even though I have never seen it,

You try and hide it but I know.

It's something that you would never admit.

Even now as I watch you,

I can see your pride.

And sometimes I wonder if you don't know,

What it is that you do to me inside.

It makes me angry that you can do this to me,

Without even trying.

And the only thing that will make me feel better,

Is to watch you leave crying.

There I have done it, 

I have done the bitter deed.

But even as I beat you, 

I wanted to spill my seed.

I never quite succeeded in making you cry,

But you left just the same.

And now I'm feeling empty.

And very ashamed.

But what can I do?

It's not fair that I have to feel this way.

When you are near all I feel is anger,

But when you leave I feel dismay.

Why can't you like me?

Why can't you be my friend?

Why can't I just tell you? 

And let that be the end.

It always ends the same way,

And it's always shameful.

You going home hating me,

And me so hard it's painful.

I don't understand it I don't think that I'm gay.

I tried being with another man. 

But I ended up beating the crap out of him,

I guess no one can turn me on like you can.

The same goes for girls too,

Even though I completed the act,

The only way I could was to think of you.

And that's a very sad fact.

She reminded me of you, 

With her dark hair and gray-blue eyes.

She was your height too,

But boyish for her size.

I went back to my room that night, 

Feeling better than I have in a long time.

I killed her with my lovemaking,

But I ask myself if that was such a crime.

In my heart and mind I know she wasn't you.

You would have been able to survive.

You could have handled all of me. 

You and only you could have walked away alive.

So here it is, the reason I stay,

When I know that I'm not wanted.

And it is in my pursuit of you,

That I will remain undaunted.

Maybe someday I will be able to tell you the truth.

To tell you about these feelings that are killing me.

And maybe you will be able to forgive and forget.

And then and only then can I be free.

Free to forget all the torture and pain.

Free to forget all the despair and loneliness.

Free to show you how much I truly love you.

Free to revel in happiness.

I've given up all hope now.

I've resigned myself to fate.

Doomed to walk the thin line,

Between love and hate.

Author whining: well here it is. …Don't know how good it is or isn't as the case may be. Feel free to leave comments and praise, which will be held in the highest regards, flames will be used as cannon fodder.

Zen 


	2. Squall's POV

The Thin Line Between Love and Hate

                Part Two

             Squall's POV

Why did he come back here

After all this time apart

But then again I knew he would

I knew it from the start

He couldn't stay away from here

Anymore than I could leave

And the short time that he was away

All I did was Greive.

Not that anyone knew of course

I never let them see

Just how much his Romantic Dream

Inside was killing me.

What exactly it is that I feel for him

Isn't something I can easily explain

He brings out in me what others can't

Emotions wrought with pain

You can call me sick and twisted

Because I like his deliberate abuse

I like the pain he makes me feel

I need no other excuse.

I see him there as he watches me

And I know soon the time will come

When his fists and words will fly

And my heart begins beating like a drum

I smile softly on the inside

As I make my way to him

Eyes like mocking chips of ice

A defiant tilt lifting my chin

I can see the rage within him

As it starts to boil inside

And I offer myself to him

Laying myself open wide

The words he says are meaningless

I haven't heard a thing

I know my power over him

And it makes my blood sing

Together in the Training Room

Each blow harder than the last

We dance the dance we know by heart

Even the magic cast

It makes us little difference

That we are feeling tired out and weak

It is the mutual crash of feelings

That inside we both seek

The thought that I might love him

Certainly has entered my mind

But to do that I must love myself

For we are two of the same kind

How many times have we done this

I have lost count over the years

But each time ends the same

Him leaving frustrated and me in welcome tears

I really want to tell him 

How he makes me feel inside

I know that I can trust him

But I just can't bring myself to confide

I want more from him than he is willing to give

I want to be with him forever

But I also know that getting that

Would be like next to never

I'm not as cold or heartless and cruel

As those around me think

I would gladly give myself to him

Before his eyes could blink

I know what he is thinking 

Practically before he knows it

I love pushing his buttons

And watching him throw a fit

Do you know what it's like

Knowing someone that well

It's enough to break my heart

And make my loins swell

If there is such a thing as a soul mate

Then there is little doubt he is mine

We just seem to fit together

Like roses and expensive wine.

Maybe someday I will tell him

Just what he does to me

But for the time being

I think I will let it be

I know that he wants me

I feel it in my soul

And maybe when I am ready

I will let him make me whole

But until that day comes to pass

You can rest easily assured

That I will continue to goad him

With each passing word

My life may not be an easy one

But I have become content with it

And if the rest of them can't handle that

Well I just don't give a shit!

So what if those around me 

Think that I don't care

It's only him I'm interested in showing

That I will always be there

I walk into the room already feeling his eyes

My palms begin to sweat with heat

But I force myself to walk his way

And calmly take my seat

I have to smile inwardly as I gaze into his eyes

I can see the questions burning there

And I have to stop myself from laughing

As he begins to swear

If he only knew that I know what he wants

Maybe he could forgive me

But I like the anguish I see inside

And I know where next we will be

It is one thing to hurt someone with fists and with words

And many times I interrupted him trying to tell him this

But he doesn't seem to get where I am going

Okay I just ended his arguments with a kiss.

A/N: Well here it is ……I don't think it turned out quite as well as Seifer's POV but I tend to identify more with Seifer these days than with Squall…….

Hope you liked it 

Please leave a review

If you don't then

All I have to say is F! U!

(that was joke people laugh already!! Geesh!!)


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